How not to plan your life
By alice on October 4, 2008
I’m reading (and working through) Martha Beck’s Steering by Starlight, which is a quite new-agey self-help book and lots of fun if you like that sort of thing, which I very much do. This passage made me laugh out loud, and also sums up pretty well what it is I like about Martha’s use of the more weird and wonderful end of the spectrum of human philosophies ancient and modern (speed, results), as opposed to the stuff we like to call rational, which often really isn’t (nb I have no intention of getting into any arguments about why rationalism is not actually better than any other kind of sliced bread right here, you would probably have to beg me to do that via email for quite a long time).
Here is Martha Beck on the first of three approaches to planning your future, the rational approach (the other two are the irrational approach, and the patent approach which is the whole point of the book):
Most teachers, advisors and self-help books recommend the rational approach to life change: realistically assess your resources, skills, training and background; take out a loan; go back to school. Within that framework, of course, you should consider your likes and dislikes- the reasonable ones. You may like food, for example. More specifically, good food. You might want to recall your (reasonable) childhood hopes and dreams, such as having nice hair.
Once you’ve assessed your present situation and your attainable goals, you might want to take a few highly reasonable personality tests to find out whether you’re an introverted task-oriented emotional problem solver or an extroverted relationship-oriented psychopathic solution doodler or whatever. Then, simply adopt several habits of highly successful people and badabing, badaboom! You’re well on your way to becoming an assistant inventory clerk at the local Shop-N-Struggle, with possibilities for advancement in less than 5 years!
Do those things if you want, of course. Some of us are just too lazy and/or impatient.
Tags: happiness, ideas, people, psychology, workfantasy purchase of the day (& other news)
By alice on September 29, 2008
There must be a pop star somewhere in Britain who can afford this lovely Welsh blanket from Toast at £245, but I don’t know them. That’s about $500! For a blanket! Not saying it is objectively too much though, for a traditional ethnic craft item of immense beauty. If I was a wealthy superstar, I would support small businesses doing lovely local traditional beautiful stuff for sure.
Very occasionally, I read the Toast catalogue and wonder if being rich would make a big difference to my life after all. But probably a blanket is not that big of a deal.
In other news:
1. I will have to continue not blogging very often, as there’s just too much else to do at the moment. Please stick me on your RSS reader and come back as and when.
2. My prediction for president is still Obama, because (a) if the right can’t manage the economy, what on earth can they do, and (b) Sarah Palin opened her mouth.
3. The banking meltdown: I say, let the market sort it out. Spending cash on bailing out old Ivy Leaguers is not what the people want, or what the Ivy Leaguers deserve. Things will bottom out quicker if we let them.
Let me know if any of that offends you.
Tags: politics, shopping, societySuccess! what for?
By alice on September 26, 2008
I’m a bit obsessed with the issue of success: what is it? do you need it? why? how is it measured? and so on. I don’t know what about this idea especially fascinates me, especially as a person who opted out of the “rat race” early on to raise and homeschool my kids. Maybe because it’s the only value that really is entirely self-determined- you must define it for yourself before you can achieve it. And I’m not sure how many of us sit down and do that properly. It’s easier to adopt the conventional view- fame (or fans, or tons of chums), wealth (at least enough “not to have to worry anymore”), family (or anyone living in your house who still likes you), fancy stuff (toys for boys, pearls for girls) and- oh yes- white-toothed grinning happiness.
But even the conventional view doesn’t work for most women, because it is “having it all”, which we are realising we don’t want anymore. Maybe our husbands can do some of it instead of us. Or maybe we would rather opt out and simplify. And really, social convention is no way to define your values. For one thing, it changes. For instance, there are newer, better trappings and characteristics, if not comprehensive definitions, of success these days. Here are some:
1. Spending most of your time with people whose company you genuinely enjoy. It enhances your life enormously just to have one friend in the office- so being in a team with like-minded folks is very much worth aspiring to.
2. Thousands of followers on Twitter. In some jobs, this is essential. Whatever.
3. Being able to take time off when you want to. As well as being expensive, taking time off can be risky or very risky, depending on what you do. I was quite surprised when a successful musician friend of mine said recently that he took a lot of time off. In the arts especially, you are most likely to have involuntary time off before you succeed, and voluntary breaks when you have achieved a great deal. The middle part is harder work.
4. Meeting new interesting people all the time, or at least people who do interesting things. In these connected internet days, we are valuing social interaction more than ever before; “who you know” is more aspired to than when it seemed near-impossible for most people to achieve other than by birth or accident. Success plugs you into networks, and networks bring more success. That’s the idea, anyway…
5. Choosing to live in a town and country you really love. This is really important to your general wellbeing, and people are exercising their choices more than ever before. But it can take courage and temporary stress horror to up and leave. And with some jobs, you’re always going to be stuck in New York City, or saving up for that private jet.
6. Important friends. You are “somebody” if you get a Christmas card from Elton John, right? And more and more of us actually do “know” famous people, or a friend of a friend of a friend does, because more of us are meeting more of us in general, from the internet. (Don’t say me you wouldn’t be impressed to get a Christmas card from Elton, I won’t believe it.)
7. Beautiful children, with spiral curls, skateboards, foreign language and musical skills, charming street-wisdom, hand-dyed dresses from Germany; probably neurologically diverse, definitely not cross-eyed, minimum of two but four ideal, mixed gender and/or race (especially if adopted) preferred. Nothing very new about these, but the status-symbol Beautiful Child only seems to inflate in desirability value every year. Although I predict a crash sometime in the not-too-distant.
8. A sexy spouse you still find attractive. These are quite special nowadays, with people squeezing extra time out of their zombie marriages like blood from turnips, whether for the living-cost savings or the “good of the children” or just because they can’t face going back on the singles scene again…
9. First class travel. Now we fly more and cheaplier, it makes a difference, especially on that flight where you boarded late and there is no bloody overhead space anywhere because all the people with six hundred extra bags were allowed on and nobody said anything. Although I appreciate getting a whole row of seats to myself and hundreds of touch-screen films to choose from just as much as an upgrade, and those are both free by accident sometimes on my US-UK route.
What do you think?
It’s easy to see what’s desirable about these modern goals, but not everyone considers them important. One thing I wonder is this: if the general trend is towards humane and fruitful living rather than loadsamoney or winning every game, what kind of people will actually want to sacrifice nearly everything for the single-mindedness required to make it to the top?
Presidential elections tonight. I’m one of those sceptics who wishes all the candidates were better. But then, if everyone had the same priorities for success as me, nobody would even be entering the contest. Perhaps we should be grateful.
Tags: happiness, society, workbirthday video of the day
By alice on September 25, 2008
It’s Gogol Bordello with I never want to be young again.
Here are the lyrics as they’re not that easy to make out and I think rather lovely and poetic.
By the desperate ‘n’ confused
Emotion of the youth
I was brought to crisis land
Where after getting checked for fleas
And barricades of embassies
I was sculpted to be overworked and silent
But since the early age
I broke out of the cage
And learned how to make marching drums
From a fish can
And I knew I’ll run away
And so without further delay
I said “two tears in a bucket
Mother**** it!”
And it seems like I ran and ran
Through the garbage and quicksand
And after getting checked for fleas
And barricades of embassies
I would never never never never
Wanna be young again!..
But sudden wind it stole my hat
And I went on chasing it
Before I was just another burned out carnie
Every freak on every day
Lives a life one certain way
And that way is ain’t no nothin’ but a birthright~
more films from Fantastic Fest
By alice on September 24, 2008
First up yesterday was South of Heaven, which I hated and do not recommend at all. Second up was The Good, The Bad and The Weird, which I missed because the theater was full when South of Heaven finally finished, which was a bummer, but I definitely want to track it down and see it sometime in the future.
Third up was Estomango: a Gastronomic Story, which I’d been looking forward to because it is about food rather than people having guns stuck in their heads etc, but it’s not a nice lovely film about food, it’s also about criminals, prostitutes etc and does contain unpleasantness. But I thought it was good. There is a strong if unconventional morality- love beats gluttony. Just not in a nice way.
And then there was The Chaser, a Korean crime film about a hard-boiled ex-cop looking for a serial killer. You probably think the West is the most violent film culture on the planet, but this film would never be as big here as it was over in Korea. I’m not going to argue about the justification of violence in movies, but The Chaser is an absolutely brilliant, flawlessly put together, amazingly well acted, beautifully scripted, stunningly shot and very, very moral film indeed. No fun to watch, but I’m very glad I did.
Then Chocolate, which is Muay Thai (kickboxing) film, also with its very dark side (note to self: see some Asian films about people not in organised crime groups sometime soon), but with all the brilliant happy empoweringness of the genre when the hero fights back and wins, and in this case the hero is a young girl with autism, which is particularly cool. The fighting is choreographed but real, the end sequences jaw-droppingly so. Then they show the obligatory out-take injuries over the titles. The guy with the neck brace seemed pretty cheerful when the cast all went to visit him in hospital anyway- I imagine they’re all just glad to be alive!
It really shows when people take their moviemaking this seriously. I don’t see how Hollywood can compete with the best of Korea or Thailand now. (In terms of quality not moneymaking, obviously.)
Tags: filmFantastic Fest 1
By alice on September 23, 2008
Here are the films I saw here yesterday:
A story of good versus evil in the Bangkok Muay Thai (Thai kickboxing) scene, very bloodthirsty. Looking at the subtitles while avoiding looking at the gross bits was a challenge. About young men being exploited by organised crime in underground fighting dens, with a central dilemma about whether you can stick to the rules yet stay alive. A big epic tragedy, with much male weeping.
This is a stunning documentary about two obsessive fans of 80’s singer Tiffany (still performing). Some people have apparently found it very scary, and those people need to read The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, which explains how to deal with potentially dangerous people and has a section about stalkers of the famous. What struck me was firstly the extent to which people can create and live with insane beliefs, while remaining harmless. And secondly, the way they reminded me of drug addicts. Clearly being damaged can get you into this, but also big-scale delusion is a full-time hobby which can lead to the abandonment of real life.
Short Films of Nacho Vigalondo
This guy is a genius, someone should give him loads of money.
This was a rude and naughty film in 1969 Japan. There is much ruder stuff on the BBC now of course (eg. Footballers’ Wives for alternately hilarious and nauseating depictions of human relationships) and what’s interesting is how people at different times and in different cultures get their ideas mixed up and what it tells us about them. Absolutely the most hysterically funny film I ever saw was a German “Lederhosen” movie of the 70’s, at a Tarantino festival at the old downtown Alamo. Presumably some people found it titillating in dodgy Munich cinemas of the time, but I was literally weeping nearly all the way through. Most of the rest of the audience seemed more thoughtful and receptive, but maybe they didn’t know any German people.
Tags: Europe, festivals, filmWhat’s an intellectual?
By alice on September 21, 2008
Here’s a little quiz:
1. When did you last see, watch or listen to an opera?
2. What’s your opinion of the last piece of orchestral music you heard?
3. Describe three great things about the work of one of your favourite artists.
4. What work(s) of philosophy influenced your intellectual development?
5. What historical museum would you visit next (with unlimited funds), and why?
6. Argue intelligibly why religion and science are compatible/ incompatible, in your opinion.
This post isn’t really about the issues in the quiz above- those are just some questions off the top of my head that illustrate what kind of stuff, in my view, a person should be able to do competently before regarding him or herself as an “intellectual”.
Of course, the term is out of vogue these days, and you can surely be it without feeling the need to use the label. And I don’t think everyone intelligent, or interesting, creative and fascinating to talk to, has to be intellectual anyhow. Certainly, there are a whole lot of people with impressive college educations who are a complete bore, and no way intellectual at all. (That’s where I like the term most- when deciding how it should not be employed.) Some of them no doubt even teach.
And the number of questions I could ask would be hundreds long, and you would only need to do above a certain number, because intellectuals specialise as well as having a general knowledge and ideas base. Here are a few more:
7. What is your opinion of the Hadron Collider experiments? (Why won’t they cause the end of the world?)
8. Keira Knightly: can she act very well? What are her strengths and weaknesses?
9. Explain what is going on with the American economy right now.
10. Compare Barack Obama to previous presidential candidates, and explain in the light of them how he is prone to success or failure in this campaign.
11. Name your favourite maths equation. Or, um, computer programming language, or something.**
12. Name a religion or life-philosophy with which you broadly disagree, and explain in detail some aspect of it that is compatible with your values.
13. Explain the significance of any historical event before 1930 that you find particularly interesting.
14. All of the above, but for popular culture versions, where they apply (eg. opera could be “musical”, and so on).
There are no gold stars for qualifying or calling yourself an intellectual. But I think it’s a working term that might have some applicational usefulness. Because terms do have usefulness, and excluding them is nearly always a dangerous thing to attempt.
** Vagueness and ignorance cluster around the intellectual black holes of the blogger
Tags: ideas, societygarlic potatoes
By alice on September 19, 2008
What do you do when there’s nothing in the house for dinner except an iceberg lettuce and a few potatoes? Go out for food of course. But if like me you actually quite enjoy pretending to be in the rationing years of post-WWII Europe (it’s a Brit thing), you can make the delicious salad I got from one of Nigella Lawson’s books instead.
It’s an iceberg lettuce salad (dress with oil and vinegar etc, add anything else you want in my opinion) with these potatoes on the top. You would think that a salad of iceberg lettuce with pieces of potato sounds uninspiring, if not pretty horrid, but then you would be wrong. The potatoes are cubed then put in in a bag with olive oil and crushed garlic for 30 minutes plus, then baked in one layer in a hot oven till crispy. They act a bit like hotter tastier croutons on the salad, but if you don’t feel like salad, they could act a bit like hot square garlic flavoured potato chips/ crisps instead.
I’ve been rather ill this week, but expect to attempt more intellectual blogging in the next few days 
Union Jack cushion update
By alice on September 19, 2008
Decided to make one myself- here it is. Not really to be recommended, as it was really hard and I bodged everything. Looks alright from a distance though.
(update: re-reading to the original cushion post, that grungier more beaten-up look seems less appealing than before- a bit filthy. Guess I’ve been back in America for over a week…)
Tags: crafts, creativity, housebash a hole in your wall
By alice on September 18, 2008
The election is boring me silly now. No idea who is worst, and anyway I don’t get to vote, which is fine by me.
And the market upsets are boring me sillier. Simply cannot force myself to care, on any account. It seems a bit like a moral failing, but having been brought up to regard caring about politics as more important than caring about, well, myself, and having decided oppositewise since, frankly… none of this stuff is making any impact. Jolly good!
So for an alternative blog post subject, here is a hole that Husband bashed through the central wall of our home. (Yes it is a mess. We are remodelling/ renovating.) You can see some of both the main living spaces in the house, a longish narrow one at the front and a longish sideways narrow one at the back. The place where they join has always been dark and depressing. But now there is light going from one end of the house to the other, and the feel is more like a single L-shaped room! Which will increase even more when the hole is bashed right down to ground-level.
However: apparently, the sheet rock (what I call plasterboard) is quite important for holding the roof up, and now it is missing there, alternative arrangements will have to be made before the house falls down. Incredibly, the roof can’t rest upon a series of thin wooden sticks alone. Now, I got the idea for this from a Dwell magazine in which some people replaced the sheet rock with some transparent plastic substance. But I am really desperate to have thin air rather than a plastic wall. So hopefully some cross bars, diagonal or horizontal, will be enough. But what do you think? (NB Opinions of commenters with actual experience of building these fragile American wooden houses that fall to bits in hurricanes will probably be heeded more seriously than those who, like me, rely on instinct and guesswork alone.)
Anyway, that’s what is interesting me lately: the hole in the wall. Also, the concrete under the horrible plastic floor tiles. After a mere probably months of peeling up nasty bits of plastic and melting glue with chemicals then scraping that up in globs then sanding, then polishing, and then maybe varnishing as well, I will have an incredibly glamorous shiny concrete floor!
Who knows what the markets and the presidency will look like by then? If anyone cares, that is …
Tags: house
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